==>You aren’t sure where your matesprit has gone, but you’re driving yourself crazy. Ever since he slept with Cronus, ever sense you broke it off with him he’s been so different. It’s your fault. You shouldn’t have been against him. The poor mime had slept with someone he hated, and his feelings weren’t returned. It’s all your fault. When you said you’d trust him you blew up on him, sure he’d also slept with Latula, and ever since you’re positive things haven’t been the same.
==>What changed? His arms were home, his kisses soft, his scent as calming as ever. But there was something missing within. He was different, and it hurt. In all the small ways, in the way he walked and the way he talked. He was different. And it makes you sick, but the cave is small and you can’t hear, you can’t choke on sobs and scream out truths. You need to stay strong, you need to wait. You need him to be the way he was, you miss him so much it breaks your heart just thinking of him, but the thought of letting him go is death.
==>You’re horrified of what your heart tells you, and you keep repeating it over and over. Its my fault. I did this to him. He stopped trusting you because you put your beliefs about quadrants first. He’s changed because you hurt him, because you told him you wanted the Kurloz everyone else got, you let him keep on injecting himself out of fear. It is Kurloz, the one you loved. He’s just changed. He’s just changed. Messiahs, please. If anything, today with Lozy showed how quickly you’d forgotten about the rest. What if, no. But if? Please no. You don’t want to be right, so you wash your face and put on your best smile. Make tea, its hot but its cold. You put too much sugar but its bland. You keep choking on it, so you set it aside. You’re home but you still feel so completely and hopelessly lost.
==> You’re a little disappointed to hear you’d have to wait, but it was definitely better than nothing. You were confused to hear she was moving as she’d told you just moments ago that you could come and visit her anytime.
[ That’s all hangin’ right. I got to be appreciating everything that’s offered my way ‘less I want to be struck down by an ungrateful shard. So thanks, Meu. ]
[ So you can understand me pretty well, huh? I ‘member ‘Tuna couldn’t, and neither could Gamzee, really. ]
==>Right, details. It goes right over your head but there’s nothing to be done. He’s absolutely adorable, but its hard seeing your beloved act and talk as his younger self. You give a quick nod and head to the kitchen to get him a glass of water, returning it to place it in front of him.
NO ONE’S GONNA STRIKE MEW ANYTHING BECLAWSE YOU ARE A WONDERFURL YOUNG TROLL!
REALLY? WELL I’M NOT SURE WHY THAT WOULD BE, BUT I’M READING YOUR LIPS! IF YOU’D KEPT YOUR STITCHES I WOULD HAVE ASKED MEW TO WRITE…SOMETIMES BEING DEAF COMES IN HANDY!
==> She asks if you get lonely, and you’re quiet for a little while. It was true. You didn’t like it, but you’d made friends with the echoes and shadows. You look up and smile.
[ Do you have anything to drink? Maybe eat? For some reason, I’ve got this surreal hunger like thou wouldst not be believing. ]
==> You chuckle and give the beast a little scratch to its chest.
==>You’ve been living in a world of silence for as long as you can remember and its become second nature to distinguish normal silence from pensive silence. He could change the subject all he wants, you know the truth.
I’VE GOT SOME WATER, SORRY FUR THE MESS EVERYWHERE. WE’RE MOVING SOON, SO DON’T HAVE MUCH TO OFFER.
MY LUSUS SHOULD BE BACK SOON WITH A BEAST. I’LL COOK SOMETHING FUR MEW THEN, PURROMISE!
==> You take the griffin into your hands and see if it would be ok with sitting in your lap. Such a strange creature… you wonder if it could possibly be sacred to the faith for one reason or another. You turn to her as your hand pets from its head and down its back.
[ I’ve never been somewhere with so many things living in one place before. Usually it’s just me. Sometimes Father if I’m good. Must be awful hard feeling lonely for too long, huh? ]
==>Of course he wouldn’t, in that castle all alone. Waiting for a lusus who would break his heart. You give a small nod, petting your Feathertail with a gentle touch.
LONELINESS DOESN’T MIND IF YOU HAVE LOTS OR NO FRIENDS. BUT IT HELPS HAVING THESE SW33TIES AROUND. DO MEW GET LONELY?
YOU’RE ALWAYS WELCOME HERE IF MEW DO. LOTS OF KITS, N33D HELP PETTING THEM.
==> She brings over a meowbeast that looks like he’s seen some better sweeps, then the strange black owl-cat. You sit and make sure to be careful with the little beasts. You hold out your hand to them first, knowing that things are initially nervous of newcomers.
==> You’re gentle as if the littlest pressure might break through their skin and crack bone.
==>Its good to see him interacting, even if its not technically him you’re glad to see it. It would be confusing no doubt, for your kits later to have him social then completely turn around and ignore them. But for now you take a little victory, knowing they’d take this moment into account. Even if it wasn’t him. Your smile falters for a bit, but Feathertails vibrations pull you out of those thoughts. Ah yes, you owed her a cuddle.
==> You trace a smile with your fingers to the corners of your lips in response. This place is somewhat of a dump in comparison to your own hive, but it reminds you of your special place where you could meet your father. That cave was pretty… full of these glowing stones. Maybe you could show her some day. Apparently her lusus was there with her, and you wondered what she was like. As for the younger troll, you recognize the horns immediately.
[ He’s like ‘Tuna. ]
==> You mimic the double horns with your fingers. But when she offers to pet them, you contemplate it a moment before sliding from the sofa and to your feet, but you never stand up straight. It’s too tall for you, so you crouch to where you think your natural level is.
[ If they want to be. I’m not all about obstructing their lil’ rituals over down here ‘lest they be wishing on it. ]
==>Yes, like ‘Tuna. You nod, glancing at your kit before turning to see Kurloz stand. His posture is awful, but you suppose it wouldn’t hurt for a bit. Besides, if he felt comfortable there then why bother him? You follow, standing and walking over to your cats. Fleur isn’t looking good, so you pick up FT and the the black griffin you’d named Fluffy, handing him over to the not so tall troll.
THEY LIKE BEING PATTED, JUST DON’T PULL ANYTHING AND YOU’LL BE FINE!
MY MATESPRIT IS BOTH AT ONCE A HUGE DORK AND THE MOST CHARMING PURRSON EVFUR AND I THINK THATS A BEAUTIFUL THING
==> You think for a moment and decide to nod with a smile.
[ I will, Meu. I’m fairly strong, and I’ve got the Lord up on my side hanging his mirthful self around in wicked protection. ]
==> You look around with that curious wonder, feeling a little more at ease than you were before. She’s friendly, and you imagine someone with so many pets couldn’t exactly be a horrible person.
[ So is this where you live? In a cave? ]
==>If only he could know the pain his Lord would bring, but you’re sure he’d see it as a test and tackle it head on. You sigh, but keep that smile on your lips.
YOU GOT THAT RIGHT! STRONG AND WITH THE LORDS FAVOR? MEW GOT A GOOD LIFE AHEAD OF YOU!
==>You look around your worn out cave, its clean and organized but something about it looks tired. Maybe because you’d seen it when it was full of life, colors everywhere.
MHM! I LIVE HERE WITH MY LUSUS. SHE’S OUT HUNTING BUT SHE SHOULD BE BACK SOON! THE LITTLE GRUB OVFUR THERE IS SOLLUX, HE HATCHED A FEW PERIG33S AGO! THE KITTENS ARE FLUER AND FT, AND THOSE CRITTERS ARE GRIFFINS. DO MEW WANT TO PET THEM?
MEW ARE THE BEST EVFUR!!!